CRICKETING NIGHTMARE

I flew back to India for my first IPL experience and, a bit like the last few weeks in the UAE, I was forced to run drinks, this time because our allotment of four overseas players had been filled by world-class superstars. 

Surprisingly, Rajasthan decided to leave Steve Smith out of the side and bring me in for my first game. This was the beginning of a cricketing nightmare that tested me more than anything before in my career. Three consecutive first-ball ducks.

The rational part of my brain could accept some of the dismissals. I could understand that these things can happen in a fickle game like cricket and that these performances don’t reflect my ability as a batter.

I understood that I was hitting the ball well in the nets and that three poor shots didn’t mean I was necessarily out of form, more just out of runs. But the non-rational part of my brain was going into a frenzied state of panic.

I honestly doubted everything I’d ever done before on the cricket field. I felt like I’d forgotten how to pick up the bat or play a forward defence. One run seemed so far away.

I couldn’t sleep very well, I felt embarrassed, I felt like I had let down this franchise who had taken a chance on me.

That Player of the Match performance in Mohali and an ODI series win in India suddenly felt a distant memory.

Amongst the chaos I received overwhelming support from friends and family. I don’t think any of them will ever understand how much a small message meant to me during a lonely time like that.

With 20 runs to win in our next game against Hyderabad, I was listed to bat next.

I’d gone from an unknown squad member to being an automatic selection for the World Cup in some people’s eyes… it was surreal.

Our coach Paddy Upton came to me and suggested that I don’t go in next if a wicket fell and instead leave the job of the last few runs to one of our young local batters.

Because I was still living this real-life nightmare on the field, I felt like I had nothing more to lose. I felt like I needed to score a run more than anything in the world.

A wicket fell and I went in to bat and scored the most relieving three not out of my life.

First ball, I tucked one off my legs down to fine leg for a single and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I looked up and saw all of the Hyderabad fielders also laughing.

Then I turned to my teammates in the dugout and I was getting a standing ovation! What should have been an embarrassing moment felt like the greatest moment of my life and I gave a big fist-pump to my teammates, I’m one not out!

After being away from home for almost three months, I’ve loved spending the last couple months at home with my friends and family. As time has passed, I’ve been able to sit back, reflect and weigh up what’s important to me.

I made the decision to sit out the current Australia A tour of the UK to remain in Perth and recover from my fourth shoulder operation. 

Writing this piece seemed quite self-indulgent to me but I wanted my story to have a purpose. It’s taken me until now, through so many ups and downs, to appreciate everything that I have in my life.

This isn’t a hard-luck story; at the end of the day I’m so fortunate to be in the position that I’m in, playing a sport that I love with my mates.